Tag Archives: the jersey shore

We’re Obsessed?

In my WordPress dashboard I can monitor the search terms that gets people to my blog. As much as I know and recognize that Facebook made me a loser it still pulls my heart strings in the wrong direction when I log on and see “Facebook Losers” has been searched in Google and they have trafficked to my blog. Ouch – but I’ll be fine, don’t you worry.

Anyway, to the point of the post. Celebrities. I’m not going to lie, I keep up on my tabloid news fodder. I started off reading Star just so I could get to the lengthy crossword puzzle in the back and then it escalated from just skipping through pictures to reading the articles bullshit.

My Idol<333

I don’t care that Lindsay Lohan is scared to be in jail because she’s claustrophobic, that Snooki got rid of her poof or if Mel Gibson is a raging lunatic. (Although after seeing for the Passion of the Christ my subconscious Jew loyalty boycotted any movie he was in/produced from then on). And yet if I don’t care why the hell do I continuously read TMZ.com, Gawker.com and obsess over DListed.com ??? (the guy who writes Dlisted.com is a comedic freakin genius…someone give this guy his own television talk show….I’d compare him to a gay man version of Chelsea Handler… actually, come to think of it, that pretty much describes Chelsea Handler)

My favorite Anti-Semite ❤

For me it’s like watching an accident. It’s just so ridiculously horrible that you can’t look away. The more bloody, unusual and heinous the longer you…err well the longer I stare. Because even when I read the tabs, I skip over the “good” stories and read only the train wrecks. Perfect Body? No thank you, I have ten pounds to lose. Happily Married? Don’t care, I’m still single. New Movie? Psh I haven’t even gotten my ideal career path on track yet. On the oh-so-delightful-other hand; Drug Addiction? Let’s hope it’s meth, everybody looks like a zombie on meth. Nasty Divorce? Haha, not actually the perfect couple you’re portrayed to be…how does it feel to be normal? Daddy Issues? Yes! Please make your therapy sessions public information, thank you.

Can you imagine being in the tabloids? Your whole life plastered around the world for strangers to gawk at and judge. And yet many people, including myself wouldn’t mind a stab at fame.

Muh Gurl Snooks

I think that there should be a common folk tabloid that’s sent to celebrities. It should be called Un-Famous, Homo-sapiens Digest or Real Life. Articles would be centered around our mothers clipping coupons,ARE THEY IN A FINANCIAL SINK HOLE?, sisters arguing about missing clothes, MISSING SUNDRESS: THIS MEANS WAR and friends gathering to hang out, JENNA AND HER FRIENDS HAVE A PARTY: MAYHEM ENSUES.

As boring as being normal is I’m sure even the regular person’s tabloid writers would find creative ways to take our ordinary lives out of context:

Jenna catches rays on the luscious beaches of Davis Park, NY with a friend...sources say it's her girlfriend

Jenna Pere was spotted at the Old Spanish Tavern in Oneonta, a close unidentified friend drops a bomb on her

A fight ensues - police refused to comment

This just in...Jenna is actually a vampire.

Add your own tabloid photos & captions to my Facebook Fan Page – If I get enough responses my next request will become a contest – prize included 😉

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Vampires are not Welcome at the Jersey Shore

Every summer, since I was eleven or something like that, I’ve gone down to the Jersey Shore (Long Beach Island) for a week or two. I guess three years ago, maybe four, I went down and brought two friends along with me; Steph & Laura.

During college, for some reason, talking in a British accent when you’re drunk was the most entertaining thing in the world. Somewhere along the way British accents turned into Pirate accents, but whatever. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR??

Ok – So I’m down the Jersey Shore with my family and my two friends. Steph, Laura & I indulge in a couple of drinks and then we decide that we’re going to walk into town. We’ll go to the kiddie casino and try to win some crappy stuffed animals and then go to the small amusement park, Fantasy Island, for some rides, preferably the Pirate Ship. During our walk we’re wrapped up in ourselves. We’re stumbling down the strip babbling to each other in British accents and laughing amongst ourselves.

We go inside Fantasy Island and head straight to the bathroom. Of course, being girls, we all pile into the handicap stall to pee together. We’re still in “character”.

We exit, or well attempt to exit the bathroom, just to be blocked by an irate mother. She’s screaming at us for scaring her daughter. My friend Steph was in gangsta Steph mode (if you know Steph you know she has different levels of drunk, Gangsta Steph, 1940s Steph, Party Girl Steph & Way to Drunk Steph). So she’s flailing in this woman’s face. I’m screaming in Gibberish, yeah we’re fluent, at Steph to calm down and just walk past the woman, but it’s not happening. We call the woman crazy, we try to get by but zero works. We just keep getting almost shoulder checked back into the bathroom by this lunatic. The woman keeps saying something along the lines of, “You girls claiming to be vampires and screaming about vampires is scaring my daughter”. Though, I’m sure it wasn’t as articulate as that.

We’re staring at this woman like: what the hell are you talking about?!

Next thing we know, we’re getting kicked out of Fantasy Island for being vampires.

Check out the video below to see a sort of mockumentary that my brother & cousins created about the incident; Vampires of LBI: The Documentary.

If you’re a Vampire or a Werewolf Teen, the Jersey Shore is not the place for you.

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Reality TV is So Bad, That it’s So Good

Reality TV is supposed to be real. Though, many people, including myself have removed their blinders and realized that, reality TV is actually pretty far from realistic. Knowing this, I still indulge, because let’s face it…it’s addicting. Plus, I’m not the one on national TV, getting drunk, getting laid or trying to marry Ray-J; it is some other person’s son, daughter, niece, nephew, whatever, you get the point.

For our viewing pleasure, these reality “stars” choose to place themselves in our living rooms. Unless they’re naïve, concerning the media, they know that their words will be edited and spliced, their embarrassing moments will be honed on, and their morals and values will be judged; analyzed and re-articulated (in or out of context) within the media (and in turn, amongst their peers).

I can accept reality TV, because of the reasons I stated above. I understand that I am not watching real-life. I know the general population would be bored to death watching raw Jenna Pere TV, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I also know that the crap that I’m giving in to is, for the most part, scripted. Reality TV is the everlasting trend of the 2000s. Unfortunately, all trends, whether withstanding or not, attract “haters”.

Why watch reality TV? The argument always comes up, whether it in the news, around the dinner table or over a few beers. New programs (like my grandmother would say) like the Jersey Shore, stir the pot, and the cycle of analytical banter continues. I know quite a few people who are appalled by the idea of reality television. They’re so put off by it, that during discussion they behave as if the reality TV viewer is a legitimate enemy. They make it seem like every time I turn on Tough Love, a puppy is murdered. They argue that reality TV is dumb-ing down society, and creating negative role models for adolescents. (Because bad parenting within a private household can’t have the same affect?!)

More than likely, their next point is, by watching, we are feeding the egos of undeserving individuals. (Undeserving, because they have no other accomplishments then appearing on reality TV.) Of course, I agree, we are fueling these “stars” egos, but I don’t give it a negative connotation. Why not enlarge their egos? We’ve made George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ray Romano recognizable and rich for portraying fake people for our enjoyment… why can’t we accept it, in order to do the same for a person playing themselves? Just because you or I don’t want to make money getting black-out drunk on television (the way you present yourself, is the way you will be perceived) does not mean I mind if someone else has no shame.

If you think about it, because reality TV is altered (whether right from the beginning, or in the editing room) we’re simply watching a drama. Though, it’s not over-dramatic like soap operas, anything on ABC Family or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Perhaps people find it more irritating because the situations displayed within reality TV attempt to mimic real life. And let’s face it, drama in real life is terribly annoying, energy-draining and time consuming.

Regardless, Reality TV “haters” also have to recognize this… Shows like the Jersey Shore, or the Real World cannot be scripted (take this lightly; I know there are discrepancies within that statement). Episodes have climaxes because they’re edited to, but the drama ensues because they have been positioned that way. Production companies work with the networks and sift through thousands of applications from individuals, vying for their fifteen minutes of fame. These shows are merely human, behavioral experiments. The persons chosen are positioned purposely, and painstakingly to guarantee maximum entertainment a.k.a drama. Based on personality (attitude, openness, and attractiveness etc.), child hood trauma, financial status, political views and without a doubt “view-ability” the conflicts can be assumed.

In a nut shell: The boys from the Jersey Shore are ignorant. The Bad Girls Club hosts girls that are trashy beyond trashy. The Real World kids are embarrassing their parents. Anyone cast on any looking for love shows make themselves seem terribly pathetic. And I love every minute of it.