I was a Boardy Barn virgin until last year. It’s the most disgusting yet fun place on earth. The Boardy Barn is in Hampton Bays on Long Island in New York. The party takes place part outside, part under a red and white circus tent and part inside.
This year’s first visit to the barn was at on Memorial Day weekend. The line was insanely long but thankfully a few of my best friends are locals. What does that mean? We don’t wait on line, no biggie.
This is us walking in…You can see pics from the Boardy Barn on their website. They have an old guy in lawn chair taking pictures as you walk in; the website says he’s called “Big Dave”. He’s not very big, but he does look homeless.
The Barn is great. It’s only open Sundays (and the occasional Monday) 4 pm to 8 pm. (12 pm on holidays). All they play is wedding hits like ‘Sweet Carolione’ & ‘Shout’. The whole place sings together and everybody dances…oh and everybody day drinks…heavily.
If you’re a recovering binge drinker do not go to The Barn. This is not a place that you go to sip on a beer in the sun. This is a place where the maximum amount of beers you can get at a time is 20 – and that pisses people off. The beers are $2 – and somehow I know people who have dropped $100 in 3 hours.
Don’t wear nice clothes or shoes. The place is disgusting, which is why it’s so much fun. Get ready to have beer poured all over you, intentionally (don’t get caught) or unintentionally.
Local tradition: If you’re a Boardy Barn virgin, you can’t hold your own beer. This means your friends or strangers will put a beer to your mouth and let it flow into it at whatever speed they like. You can’t drink a beer that fast? Oh well you’re going to get wet. And when the beer is empty the cup is getting crushed on your head.
The floor is cement with holes that fill with beer and people’s sweat. You will never see the holes until after you step in them.
Your shoes will be covered in this cement like goop that hardens after you. I think it’s a mixture of beer and the adhesive from the sticker paper. (Every time you go to the bar for beers the bartender will give you a bunch of stickers). The stickers are the Boardy Barn’s signature happy face hearts with sunglasses. People go nuts for the stickers, they’ll put them everywhere. (On our way to the Barn on Memorial Day we were pointing out Barn goers 1 mile away from the bar because they were covered from head to toe)I’ve got a couple stuck to me in the pic below.
If you’re a person who can’t handle being in a crowd, the Barn is not for you. You need to handle the fact that you are going to be stepped on, spilled on, pushed over, elbowed – but it’s all in good fun. And if it’s not the guys in orange are security and they will kick you out – and it will be embarrassing and it will hurt (they’re not very gentle). And they take things really seriously, I almost got kicked out last summer for “arc-ing” my beer. Apparently you can dump beer but you can’t throw it. Don’t take my word for it.
If you’ve never been to the Boardy Barn you have to go at least once. People take buses, trains, cabs, cars from all over just to experience the mayhem. It’s open rain or shine. (The first time I went it was pouring and it was awesome) It was a really soggy but ridiculously fun party.